The Devils of New Mexico

My poor relatives who mostly live back in the cold, gray Soviet Midwest have long had to put up with me bragging about the spectacularly amenable climate out here in my chosen home land of New Mexico. I feel like I have to keep them aware of how progressive this state is (Minnesotans like to think they live in the Progressive Utopia, and they may be right, except it is SOOO C-C-COLD!), because since people don't pay much attention to us, and because the state is mostly poor and the school systems questionable, they assume a state like this is run like a plantation with white bosses calling the shots in Santa Fe over the long-suffering native and Latino population.

And whether you consider it a point of pride, a liability, or just a stat, NM has long been the only non-Caucasian majority state in the US. (California is expected to join us soon.)

But the fact is that this is a state that has been almost exclusively progressive despite Republican governors. We banned capital punishment, tolerate NO laws that discriminate against women (or ethnically disenfranchised--you can't just say "minorities" here), and their right to make their own choices, and we have some of the most advanced and "careful" voting laws in the country, where you are NOT required to vote in a precinct, and we generally have WEEKS of early voting--plus, we are a leader in abandoning digital voting systems because of how easily corruptible they are, and thus require real paper records for every election.

This ain't Ohio or Florida.

Tie that in with the delightful climate (Valentines Day is t-shirt weather here, folks), the ready access to gorgeous wilderness and skiing, and the generally more relaxed pace of life (we have just TWO interstate-level highways: one that goes North to South, and one that goes East to West, and they intersect right in the very middle of our most populous city. If you have trouble getting around here, you have much more serious problems than roads can fix), and things sometime verge on the idyllic, if it weren't for...

...the DEVIL'S charm, the evil, bike tire shredding and excruciatingly painful "GOAT'S HEAD".

The goat's head is like a little burr that grows on a very common weed out here, so it is EVERYWHERE. And the problem that you go out for a walk and they get stuck in your shoes, and then you come inside and they get into your carpet, and then you walk in bare feet and...OUCH!!!

Burrs aren't generally human-friendly, but this burr is like one specially-engineered by Satan Himself (His Glorious Majesty...or perhaps I've said too much? Anyway...) It is very strong and sturdy with super-sharp barbed tips, which mean if one embeds itself in your foot expect SERIOUS pain and then a big problem getting them out, because you can't just grab them with you hand, that just compounds your injuries. You have to find a way to pry this thing out of your tender flesh without breaking off the burrs in your tissues, which ensures the pain stays with you for as long as possible.

I'm a real idiot, I've been living here for decades and it only just occurred to me to ban shoes beyond the front door.

Meanwhile, due to their persistent nature it's hard to vacuum them up, but they are easy enough to pick up with your feet if you don't mind the pain.

Oh yeah, and we have a hollowed-out mountain range full of old atomic weapons residue on the edge of town, and a prominent world-class nuclear weapons lab along with us, painting a very prominent first-strike bulls-eye on us. Not to mention the goofily-named radioactive dump called "WIPP".

We try not to think about all that. It's not mellow.
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